It’s Amazing Grace

I like dogs! They’re cute and cuddly. Today I was driving to RCC for piano class down Limonite in North Corona and hit a dog. Oh man! I feel so bad! I tried to slow down when I saw it in the oncoming car’s lane. Then it ran the other direction, which was right in front of me. I knew I didn’t have time to stop abruptly because a truck was tailing big time. I tried to swerve but it was to close to the oncoming cars. The sound of the dog hitting my car was so loud. It sounded like a big bang! I called 911 and told them what happened. I went back to retrace my tracks to try and find the dog. But it was so dark in that area for miles and I couldn’t see him on the street or the side of the road. I called 911 back and asked them if I should check again. They said, “no, it’s ok”. Angela told me several times it’s not my fault and I know I should believe her. But I still have mixed feelings…thinking what I could have done differently…if only that van driver wasn’t tailing me…why was the dumb dog in the street…why did it take me so long to respond to what had happened! I checked my car when I got to RCC and half the frame of my license plate was completely broken off. I don’t feel right calling 911 about that for insurance purposes. I already feel bad that I hit the dog. It could be lying somewhere dead. And I killed it. I feel like a bad person. And I am sad.

 Today is my birthday. I was born at 2:11pm today. So, technically I will be 29 years old at that time today. I slept in because I was so tired from getting in late last night from my high school athlete’s cross-country banquet. I’m kind of bored right now, so I thought I’d blog. Curtis took a study break to go play football in Claremont. My mom sung happy birthday to me on the phone. Last week my Aunt Jenny gave me some birthday money. I think I will go out and buy me some blank CD’s to download some music from someone. I might even have enough to get some New Balance running shoes.

  What does it mean to share a blessing with someone? What would it feel like? What would it look like? Tonight I received a glimpse of my thoughts. Can you invision with me for a moment…A moment in time? To see him up there…in his element…playing that 1954 Fender Telecaster was amazing! His face glowed like a child’s on Christmas day. His smile brilliant like the morning sun.

My spirit overflowing with joy…the joy of bringing him joy. A gift I could bring…the least I could give…for all he’s given me. Friendship is a blessing…priceless in safe hands.

Can you imagine with me? Can you feel why…it was a night to remember. A moment in the past…figuratively…and now literally.

  I decided to go down to L.A. for Veteran’s Day since I got the day off work. I think I might spend the night since I don’t have anything else to do on Saturday. My nephew has grown tremendously!  He will be 2 years old in January. He literally imitates everything you do and say. I am so excited that he remembers me.  He is hugging on me like he has known me all his life. He will be spending the night too. My brother downloaded some pictures to my blog of him and his son. Both of their names are Brian. But I am in the habit now of calling my nephew little Brian or baby. I am also excited about being able to go to the movies and/or out to eat with my sister, Joycelyn. We were never close growing up, but I am looking forward to building a new relationship for the future. I was so amazed the other day when we talked on the phone for 2 hours. We never did that before. We shared about difficult times growing up and how we both in our own way were just looking for someone to care about us. She shared with me that we were younger I used to always take my brother’s side and gang up on her and call her stupid and other names. I didn’t remember saying that, but to me it didn’t matter if I remembered. Because deep down inside I know it must be true. So, I gave her my deepest sincere apology for the pain I caused her. I feel so bad for ever making her feel unloved and lonely. I know what that feels like! We were all just trying to survive. I hope my nephew gets the love and attention we didn’t receive.