It’s Amazing Grace

Tomorrow I will take the CSET Science test for teachers. If I pass it will allow me to have the opportunity to be considered for a position as a Science teacher at the high school I work at. I need your prayers. This would be a great opportunity for me to land my first full-time career job. It starts at 1:30pm, and lasts for 5 hours. I have to take 3 separate subtests, 50 questions each, with 2-3 essays for each subtest as well. It will be held at Jurupa High School. Thanks.

Curtis played in two football games today. One with Sandal’s church and the other for a league in Norco. He ate four hot dogs over Andrew’s house after the Sandal’s game. I slept and studied throughout the day. It felt good to get some rest. I’m glad I have a three day vacation from work. I felt sick today. Probably because I need to eat more with the medication I’m taking. It seems as though my metabolism is increasing and I’m loosing weight. My jeans don’t fit as tight as they use too.

Curtis and I ate at California Pizza Kitchen tonight. We had avocado club rolls for an appetizer, Jambalaya for our main course, and I had a side ceasar salad before my main course. Curtis helped me eat my salad. I had three glasses of lemonade. I felt so much better after eating. I wasn’t nauseated anymore and I could think more clearly. When we got home it was so cold that Curtis and I decided to sprint to our upstairs apartment. He gave me a head start. The first time I turned around I could see that he had started running. So I sped up. When I turned around again I could see that he was gaining ground on me. So when I got to the stairs I grabbed the railing and swung around onto the stairs and tried to sprint up it as fast as I could. I “bit” it big time! My elbow was killing me (meaning it hurt bad). Still, I quickly regained my bearings and got to the top of the stairs as fast as I could. When I got to the top I could see Curtis at the bottom of the stairs on his knees “cracking up” (meaning he was laughing uncontrollably, for those of you who are “slang” challenged). Don’t feel bad I am too in some ways. Like when I go down to L.A. and I try to have a conversation with my brother and I have no idea what he is talking about. I have to ask him to tell me in plain English. Anyway, my elbow is a little sore but I will be okay. Curtis still thinks it was so funny that I “bit” the dust. …but he didn’t catch me!

Curtis and I are still talking more than the past couple of months. Unfortunately, something bad happened to Curtis with law school and he needs prayer. Although part of me is glad it happened, another part of me doesn’t like to see him feel defeated. He’s taking a semester off to rest. He will be coming out to track practice to help me with the runner’s at Roosevelt High School in Corona. I think he will enjoy it because his face always lights up when he is around the kids. And they absolutely love having him around. I trust that God is doing what He know’s is best.

My medicine I started taking a month ago was increased in dosage to see if it will work more efficiently. I’m suppose to ask people if they notice a difference in about a month from now. Maybe you can help.

So, Curtis and I had an argument a week ago. And for the first time I stood my ground and spoke up for myself. I even cut Curtis off at times just to get a word in edge wise. I have never felt good after an argument like I did that night after it was all over! It was a strange feeling. I didn’t know if it was ok to feel good or whether to feel guilty for feeling good. We are talking to each other more. But I’m still holding back because it hurts me that he won’t go to counseling anymore. I guess I’m afraid of getting hurt again and again.

But you know what? A couple of weeks ago I was so frustrated with trying to think of something different to say to God about the changes I wanted to see in Curtis and me that my mind went blank. And I just said,”God can you just do whatever you think needs to be done in our marriage.” And what do you know…that’s when we had our argument. That Sunday Moses Ceasar talked about how sometimes we are so impatient with wanting God to move in our lives, to the point where we sound like bratty kids! …God is moving and working, I just need to be patient, let go and give him control and be all that he wants me to be…even through difficult times. For me, that is easier said than done…but it is something I’m willing to work towards. Lots of times its easy to forget that God is still good even in difficult times.