It’s Amazing Grace

Yes! Twelve more days of school. Work has been so stressful this school year. I wonder what I will do with all my free time this summer. Last summer it almost drove me crazy! I do have a few things planned though. Curtis and I are going on a free trip to a resort in Indio at the end of June. Our Anniversary is August 3 and we are going to a resort in Las Vegas for a week. In July we are going to Sacramento to Curtis mom’s surprise birthday party. We have to wear all white the day before and dress up the next day. Sounds crazy to me. Curtis and I are going to loose some weight before we go down to Sacramento. We went to JC Penny to buy our white outfits for her party. As I was trying on things in the dressing room I saw myself in a long mirror and came out and told Curtis I was thoroughly disgusted. He said, “see I told you we need to go on a diet.” Coming from former athletes we may be over dramatizing how bad our bodies look. But we are use to fit bodies with rock solid abs. Oh, and July 9 is the first day of cross country practice. So I guess there will be certain periods this summer where I will have something to do.

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. -Psalm 32:3

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to confront the perpetrator of my past. I had so many questions I wanted to ask–why this and why that? Did you know this and did you know that? I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt before I came to my conclusions about him and his motives. I was prepared for his denial. It’s what I was told might happen. And so it did. I stuck with my plan and didn’t allow myself to get trapped in twisted words of rationalization. At one point I even got angry and told him in a stern voice, “Don’t lecture me!” It felt good to say that because I felt like I had regained my power back from him. You see, when I was a kid I always had to be quiet and listen to him lecture me on life. In his mind, he was making me more wise. I feel closure from just having the opportunity to let him know that I know what he did was wrong. You see, a confrontation is successful because it communicates truth. And that is what I got to do–to communicate to him for the first time that I know what he did was wrong. His denial of the facts did not make the confrontation unsuccessful. It only showed me who he really was–a selfish individual who cared more about himself than me. I got the chance to ask him if he thought something of that nature was a crime. When he said yes, it confirmed in my mind that he knew back then what he was doing was wrong–even if he won’t admit it now–I no longer need to consider giving him the benefit of the doubt. There is nothing to reconcile, but I am working on forgiving him. Because isn’t that what Jesus has done for me when I offend him? Yes. You see, my healing can only come from God anyway–no matter what my perpetrator says–even if he admitted to it and said he was sorry–it can’t heal me–like I said, only God can. What I have learned is this, “I can speak the truth. I can be free!”

Tomorrow I will be going to Warren High School in Downey, Ca. for CIF Prelims. We will be taking 10 athletes with us. They made it through the rounds of League prelims and finals and qualified to go and compete with the best. If they do well and qualify they will get to go to CIF finals on the following Saturday.  There will be many college recruiters their watching and taking notes. Our athletes are nervous, but not so much that they will not be able perform and execute in their events. I am excited to see how well they do. We have a very young team, being a first year school and all. So they are sure to turn heads on tomorrow.

Today, I let some athletes I wrote about on my blog in the past read what I wrote about them. They laughed and enjoyed reading about themselves. Bryan P. said, “Thanks coach, I feel special!” Two other athletes also were with us reading what I wrote about their teammates. And, there response was, “Coach, did you write about me?!” I told them no, but I would keep it in mind for future writings. Today, they are competing in Mountain View League Finals. We should have many athletes, boy’s and girl’s, do well and qualify for CIF prelims. Go mustangs!

I was in piano class last night not really in the mood to think. I was just so tired from a long day at work and track & field league finals. But I brought my Sandal’s worship song notebook and the song I wrote to get some ideas from my music teacher on how I could spice it up and make them sound more melodic on the piano, instead of the same old repetitious chord playing. I was so excited and anxious! Well, she spent almost 30 minutes with this lady. I was growing impatient. I started playing this musical piece called, “Aaron’s Song.” I liked it so much that I took out the song I wrote and modified the music to fit my song. I like it a lot. Finally, I rose my hand to get my teacher’s attention. I told her I wrote a song and I wanted her to hear “Aaron’s Song” played with it. After class I played it and sang my song and she liked it a lot. It is a work in progress, but headed in the right direction, she said. She really liked the words in the song. I feel like a kid in a candy store right now!

P.S. I never had time to ask her about the worship songs…maybe next time.