It’s Amazing Grace

   I enjoyed my day of work yesterday; I wish it were longer. Waking up this morning, knowing I had a spiritual battle to deal with at work created an uneasiness within me that just wanted to run. But I know and believe that God would not give me more than what I can handle. It’s just that, many times any amount of tribulation seems like an unbearable load. Thinking about being in the classroom with him was emotionally draining. However, I got up and did the monotonous routine of preparing yourself in the morning. Thirty minutes is all I need…unlike the three hours others need. JI didn’t want there to be an issue with me eating in the classroom, so I took two waffles with me on my way to work. It’s pretty difficult to drive and cut a waffle with a fork, especially when there aren’t many stops on the way. I arrived at the school campus nervous, but knowing what I needed to do. I greeted the security lady on my way in the administration office, and the secretaries that worked inside. I went out the side door as to make myself invisible to any other administration. I know that he hears me walking with my dress shoes, so I walked slower, and at times I walked on the balls of my feet. When I got to the door, I was so thrilled to see the students again, and they said they missed me. I took over at his desk and by golly, there’s a substitute teacher! I could relax and do my job without feeling tense and anxious. You know, it was funny; the sub’s old-fashioned military classroom management style reminded me of how I use to interact with the students five years ago when I first started. But I learned how to communicate and develop relationships with the students that indirectly effected my classroom management in positive ways. But this sub, an older man, had been teaching for fourteen years and still didn’t get it! I am so blessed to have been able to learn how to relate to kids by learning from others. It bothered me the way the sub told a female student to ask to use his calculator. So I quietly left and went down to ask the assistant principle if I could go down to Target and buy a calculator or two for them. He didn’t understand me at first because he responded by saying there was no more money in the schools budget. But I told him I would buy it…he looked surprised, and said that won’t be necessary and to tell Falsone (the other teacher influencing the teacher I work with in negative ways) that he said it was ok for me to take six of their calculators. I was so scared; I didn’t want to come face to face with that man. But then I remembered that Bobbie told me not to give him, who is just another human, so much power in my life…he’s not God! So I walked bravely to his classroom and when I got there I was relieved. Why? Because he wasn’t there either! I told the aide and sub. The assistant principle said I could take some calculators. The students who know me were glad to see me. I asked were Falsone was and they responded, “He’s supposedly sick” with a tone of sarcasm. I smiled and said and supposedly my teacher was too. We all really know they took a sick day to either play golf or go gambling. Anyway, I had a really peaceful day and enjoyed seeing the kids from each period again. They seem to put a smile on my face, even the ones who always get in trouble. I drove to the park down the street and bought a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar from the neighborhood ice cream truck and took a nap before driving back down the street to track practice. Track practice also went well and coming home felt soooooooooo good! J

I’m so glad I decided to take the day of from work. I feel rejuvenated and emotionally ready to handle anything at work tomorrow. I am really taking advantage of my personal and sick days this year than I ever have in the past. And, I don’t know why I didn’t use them sooner! Seven personal days and 13 sick days is more than I could ask for to help me finish this school semester at work…and I didn’t know that I still get paid for them! What was I thinking before? I not one of those people who wants to get a perfect attendance certificate. At least, not anymore now that I’m older. Well, the exception is my piano and guitar classes I take at night…I desire to be there every Wed. and Thurs. night because it’s something I desire and enjoy. Pray that I can be humble tomorrow and demonstrate Christ-like character to those few people who try to tempt me and get a reaction out of me. Thanks.

  Too often it may feel like Satan is using others to pick on you and try to get a reaction out of you that you’d feel sorry afterwards. I say this because life gets hard at times and you may feel like not worthy to acknowledge your pain. But I’m glad Jesus Christ left me an example to follow back in His day here. It’s comforting to know that the people he reached out to were the ones who were hurting on the inside and weren’t too proud to acknowledge their pain before Him. Jesus wants those with broken empty hearts and tired of the sin in the world. I thank God that He lets me come to Him no matter where I am emotionally and spiritually. It’s even more refreshing to know that He never really left me. When people hearts are filled with sin and hate, it’s overwhelmingly heartbreaking knowing that Satan had got the best of them. We fight the fight and do what our Lord asks of us, and sometimes we feel like we failed Him. But most of us know that He doesn’t expect us to will it out of them…their commitment to Him as to be genuinely accepted within their own heart. However, it’s still not fun watching them go down in flames. Jesus said, “Father they don’t know! They don’t know!” when people, being led by Satan’s conniving schemes, tortured Him…hung Him on the cross…murdered Him! So should I, and maybe you, think on such things when people pick at us just to be mean? The answer is yes. For example, I’ve persisted with helping a friend at work over the past five years to turn back to his relationship with Jesus. And, had many conversations with him to help him give his marriage a fighting chance. Only to see him turn against me…I believe with the negative influence two men have on him. You know what really sucks…when people use truth, rules and regulations to get back at you out of spite. It can bring upon you such a feeling of disgusts that you have to firmly and faithfully put your attitude and emotions in check and just take the hits. Oh Man, Heaven must be an awesome place for Satan to go through so much trouble with making people’s lives a living hell. But I will still persevere and take the punches as they come, because I know my God has a brilliant and meaningful plan for the things I will do in this ‘before life’ and the new, everlasting, and final life to come! Whew! I feel better!

 According to channel 9’s 10 o’clock nightly news Los Angeles has the best tap water in the world. If that’s true, then we are doomed! :0

I taught at California Baptist University this past Thursday. I was so stressed out the whole week long leading up to it that I wasn’t able to get much rest. It was amaaaazzzzing! I love teaching at the college level and the professor observing me said I did great! The students gave me an applause when I was done…what a relief. I felt like I was rushing at the last minute to get everything prepared. But you know what? This method seems to work well for me because I don’t obsess about what I should do–I just do what ever feels natural, and my ability to speak effectively in front of a group of people seems to shine. I am really working hard to get a teaching job there in the near future. Being a graduate assistant is so invigorating! I am so happy because I finally feel like I’m doing something that I am compassionate about. I’ve come a long way from two years ago; working at Chik-fil-A to finish my teaching credential. It was a humbling experience working there–with everyone knowing I had a Master’s Degree.

Leah heard the helicopter and noise Curtis and I heard Friday night. Curtis and I thought it was weird for the noise to be going on for as long as it did. And, just when I decide to turn the channel on the television to the news…Bam! Riverside, Ca was the first live breaking story; showing the 91 Freeway right next to our apartment complex off the Madison exit. Get this… a white car was driving on the wrong side of the freeway at 90 miles/hour! It hit another car head on in the carpool lane, a big rig was jack-knifed, and other cars behind crashed and were totaled. Sadly, two people died that night…the one in the white car and the other car it hit head-on. The accident stretched 3 miles down the freeway. I felt grief for them and their families and told Curtis I wanted to pray for them right now. And, so we prayed for them and the grief their families would have to work through, and most importantly our hope that they were followers of Christ and were therefore saved. I wonder what good God can make happen out of this mess. So sad…so tragic…how unfortunate they died the way they did.

I went to a Marketplace, sort of like an outdoors swap-meet with free stuff, at ERHS to support our track and field boosters club. I was nervous because of all the people and things going on, but I managed to maintain my anxiety and walk around to the tents by myself to see what the community vendors were offering. Lucky me…I got a free massage! It was OK…kind of like tasting one chip without being able to have more. I saw some of the athletes, they said came over to say hi. One of my athletes, Jerome, came an hour later. Curtis calls him my adopted son because he always around me and looks up to me. You know it’s funny, that reminds me of the first day of practice last Tuesday when the sixty-something athletes surrounded me as I began to talk and discuss how I was going to do the time-trials to determine whose varsity and junior varsity. I always like to have athletes that have been with me, that know the routine, get the others started on the right foot. I mentioned to them, Jerome, and how he would be able to answer their questions. But I didn’t see him around and I said, “Where’s Jerome?” And, the athletes said, “he’s right next to you!” I turned to my right and there is was, slightly behind me…he said, “Coach, I’m always next to you!” I laughed because it’s true, but also because it touched my heart to know that he cared and respectfully relied on me.

Afterwards, I went to Sarah’s bridal shower…I’m glad I made it, because it was so much fun seeing her, Karen and the other girl’s I hadn’t seen in a while. It’s amazing where God has us in place, in this lifetime, in relation to each other. I remember meeting and spending time with them when I came to Cal. Baptist University in 1997, or some time soon after that. While I was there, I began to reminisce when Sarah lived in the on-campus apartments below me. Andrea use to come hang out with Anna, my CBU roommate who is also recently got married to a nice guy named Dan (It’s about time!). I learned more about candles living with Anna, than I ever had in my entire life before CBU. She liked throwing candle light parties…we had candles everywhere…but they smelled good and gave our home a nice warm feel. I remember Anna taking to a new church that had just started not to long ago and meeting pastor Matt and Tammy for the first time. Of course, he used the amazing grace joke on me…it was funny. And now look at where we all are now…wow, have we grown! Many of us who hung out together as singles, are now married. And, now Sarah’s turn is coming soon! I am proud to call the people at Sandal’s Church my family. I think of the time when Jesus asked the question, “Who is his mother and father?” He continued with, “anyone who serves his Father in heaven”. We have been adopted into a family that matters dearly to God. My sister’s and brother’s in Christ are my family and will continue to be when this world passes away and God restores it to His perfection.

Well, it looks like I didn’t have to  babysit after all. I completely didn’t hear the part of her having found someone else last night when I spoke with her. So, I was very worried when she didn’t show this morning. I left a message on her cell and she called me back later, letting me know she found someone else before I could back to her last night. Anyway, it’s all good because I still got the day off work–it’s a good thing too, since I forgot I had a dentist appointment at 11am. It felt so gooooood being able to sleep in after a long laborious day yesterday.

It’s difficult to open my mouth now, because I got these rubber-bands holding my top and bottom braces together. Luckily, they said I can take them off to eat. I was thinking…this is a good way to loose weight…it’s hard and laborious to eat often when your teeth are strapped together.

I don’t want to go out in the cold weather and coach this evening. I’d rather stay in bed and let my thoughts continue til’ the days end. I e-mailed the head coach to see if I could get out of it…hopefully I get my wish.

Tomorrow I am staying home to babysit for a friend whose in a bind. I’ve never babysat a baby before…by myself. This should be interesting. Curtis doesn’t think I’ll be able to change a diaper, but I told him, “Well, I guess I’m going to learn the hard way tomorrow!” This is a real baby! I’m talkin’ 6 months old! I’m nervous but happy too…happy I get to watch my friends baby, and happy I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. Maybe this will be my chance to see if I’d be good at this. Pray for me–in that I’ll do a good job.

Also, don’t forget my previous post… we still need people to help us move in approx. a week.

Curtis and I are moving into the apartment next door. We need some help moving things, whether it be for 30 minutes or more, we would appreciate anytime you can come and help. The apt. manager told us he would have the apt. ready in approximately a week–he has to get two other apartments ready before ours. So, if you can help, please let me know. Thanks.

It’ll be nice not breathing in cigarette smoke anymore in our kitchen. And, it’ll also be wonderful to have all new stuff in an apartment. Our apartment we’re in now is very, very old. Our water heater they put in during 2005 busted a couple days ago

I’ve been dreading track season for the past couple of months. When I woke up this morning I was preparing myself mentally for the first day of track practice. As I drove to work, I didn’t feel too bad, just mostly nervous. However, it was a beautiful bright shining morning and I didn’t want to want to waste it. So, I took my feelings of anxiety and did what I do best–get on top of the game and be mentally alert to handle any situations that lie ahead. When I got off work, I realized that I never found my misplaced sunglasses. Luckily there was a Target nearby and so I went and came out with a really nice, sporty sophisticated pair of Champions, sunblock spf75, and a snickers bar. I felt a little more prepared and confident. So after a ran a few more errands I drove back to ERHS with a sense of peace and optimism. I hadn’t stepped more than once on the track and athletes were already running over to hug me. And, for that moment I realized how much I meant to them, and how much they meant to me. I also saw a lot of new faces and exciting talent that’s waiting to burst out this season. I always start the season with time-trials in the events, so that’s what I did. I was stressing out a little because I realized I forgot my stopwatches and bag of equipment at home. Luckily, I had a chrono stopwatch on my cellphone that also took split times (athletes separate total time crossing the finish-line). Pretty soon, I just fell into place and regained my confidence and zeal for the sport–staying until 5:15 pm didn’t bother me so much anymore. I actually stayed til’ 6pm because of the positive mood I was in. It’s nice to be an assistant head coach now, as well as, the boy’s and girl’s varsity and jv sprint coach. I could sense how the new head coach, Shires, would be more organized and allow me to coach and not stress about doing other tasks. It’s relieving working with him, because he’s so anal about organization and management.

I know my emotions changed like the wind in regards to coaching this season. I have to admit that I realized my negative emotions about coaching had nothing to do with coaching at all. Those negative feelings stemmed from my heart break of not feeling appreciated for the accomplished team I took to CIF last year, the first year the school opened! When they gave Shires the head coach position, because he’s an on-campus teacher, I was hurt and bitter. I wanted nothing to do with track and I didn’t want to help them in anyway as punishment. But, God helped me to overcome myself and do what I do for a different reason…to store my treasures up in heaven by utilizing the gifts he’s given me to coach and have a positive impact on the kid’s lives. What I do here will continue over in the intermediate heaven, then New Earth, as well as new responsibilities he has in store for me after this old world passes away and the New World transitions to take its place. So I have extended forgiveness and got over myself. I can see now how God said man rebelled against him by their consuming desire to have the universe revolve around them “The Me Complex” is what I’m going to call it. I can also see how God is the center of it all…he created it all, and didn’t have to, but thank God he did! Would you rather have not existed and missed out on the experience of life and love? Not me, I don’t regret it–taking the good and bad and learning from those experiences was precious. Two and a half months is what I’m committed to, and so I say with joy and competitiveness, “On with the show!”