It’s Amazing Grace

I’ve had a rough 2 1/2 months…to say the least. I was hospitalized for 8 days and begged the doctor to let me go home and deal with my sickness and misery. I felt alone, hopeless, miserable and like the light in me was dying. I’ve been nausious and vomiting 2-4 times a day for the last couple of months–at home hooked up to an IV and getting shots in the buttocks every 4 hrs. And you may ask why…but that’s a whole another story.
I haven’t been at chuch for about a month now, and I feel so far away from what feels like home. I decided to listen to sermons that I missed over the past several Sundays. After listening to the “The Visitation: Received” on-line at Sandalschurch.com and watching people walk up and some literally throwing the “crap” in their lives in the trash can, and hearing the band play and sing familiar songs–I broke down and cried. Why? I desperatly miss my church family. I miss playing my keyboard and leading others in worship. I miss being in the presence of others who I share the most important thing with–that is–”Jesus Christ”. I realize that I can still be around lots of people and still feel alone, if we don’t share that special connection between us–that is–Jesus the Savior and King”. I listened to songs of worship after listening to the sermon and began to feel so hopeful and eager to be go see my church family again–and I didn’t let how I was feeling ruin this moment of hope and joyfulness. I felt alive again…I felt loved my Jesus. Listening to songs like, “Majesty”, “From the Inside Out”, “Deeper”, “To Know Your Name”, “Marvelous Light”, Hosanna”, “All For Love”, “Cover Me”, “Father Can You Hear Me”, and even Moi’s, “Superman” inspired me to want to lift both hands as I lay on the couch (where I’ve been for the past month), and reach for the Holy Spirit to fill me with hope and joy.

Wow, it’s hard to believe that I’m finishing my 3rd weeking of teaching. It has been a rollercoaster ride, but fun as well. I have to say that I have not had a boring day yet, and I don’t believe I ever will on this job. It feels awesome to have a full-time job. There’s no time for me to fall asleep in this environment. I have to remain on my toes at all times…but I’m lovin’ it…it’s great!

A friend (Mark Lamberth) I went to school with past away this past Thursday, January 8, 2008. Please pray for his wife (Angie Lamberth) and son (Nolan) through this difficult time in their lives. I thought this verse may encourgage others who made need to hear it as well. Remember, those in Christ will never really die…Amen!

Dear Nolan, I went to California Baptist University with your dad. And, my husband got to know him through Sandal’s Church. We always enjoyed being around your dad. He was soft-spoken, had a gentle smile and a warm heart. He was a very genuine person who loved you and your mom deeply. We are sad to see him go, but know that he is in heaven with the Lord now; a place we will be someday too! Although you will not see him for a little while, his spirit lives on and you will see him again someday. We continue to pray for you and your mom.

For Christ did not enter a man-made sanctuary that was only a copy of the true one; he entered heaven itself, now to appear for us in God’s presence. Nor did he enter heaven to offer himself again and again, the way the high priest enters the Most Holy Place every year with blood that is not his own. Then Christ would have had to suffer many times since the creation of the world. But now he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself. Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.
Hebrews 9:24-28

Happy New Year Everyone! Curtis and I spent New Years Eve at Tom and Brandy Mays house with others. We ate some good food, played Wii and board games, and popped these little firecrackers.

I never really had a New Years resolution…never really interested me. I guess I just have an on-going resolution to grow and be like Christ in character–no matter what time of the year it is.

I can’t believe on Monday I will get to report to my new full-time teaching job! I’m still so excited–very nervous too! I just want to do a great job. I want to love my students as Christ has loved me through my difficult times as a child. I know from experience it’s what they want most.

I can’t believe it! I finally have a full-time teaching position! This will be the first full-time job I have ever had…and I’m so happy! On December 18 (exactly one month after my birthday) I got a phone call saying I was selected for the teaching position at UHS Keystone Schools in Rancho Cucamonga. UHS stands for Universal Health Services–the schools in the communities they serve are a part of a larger behavioral health organization. Because I officially have my special education credential now and a Master of Science degree, they bumped me to $45,000 per year. I’m so happy–Curtis is so happy too! If we can barely live off of $25,000 with the struggles went are going through–I know we will be just fine adding my pay to out total yearly. I’m so relieved; a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Yesterday was my first official day of work. I went in to Human Resources at the Grand Terrace location to sign a lot of paperwork and will get paid for my time their for those couple of hours. They gave me 5 burgundy UHS polo shirts and a picture id badge to wear at all times at work.

UHS Keystone Schools-Rancho Cucamonga is a non-public, non-sectarian private school. They receive students with emotional disabilities from surrounding districts. I look forward to making a difference in their lives. I never would have thought that the bad things that happened to me growing up could help get me a job. It will not be easy teaching these kids, but I’m up for the challenge. I believe I’m working with a classroom of 6-8 elementary boys grades 3 to 6. Again, I’m so excited…I’m going to get health benefits! Tracy, I’m finally a grown up.

I am happy to announce that today was my last day of student-teaching at Moreno Valley High School. The teacher let me go early since it was a “free” day for the kids. I actually hugged several students and adults goodbye. I will take the CSET Multiple Subject Exam January 10, 2009. I’ve already applied to several districts earlier this week. All that hard work is finally done–and yet there is still more to do…I gotta get a job!

Curtis and I had fun seeing old friends at the Family Ministries Christmas Party Extravaganza. There was Mexican food, cookies, lemonade, and Wii for the kids!

I have this stupid pimple on my lip that I’ve been messing with; and now it looks worse…if only I would stop eating stuff and drinking stuff with citric acid that breaks me out. Or perhaps, if I would just stop messing with pimples to prevent them from getting worse. It’s just that, it’s so tempting to squeeze when it’s right there staring me in the face!

Loving the World
12-13 I remind you, my dear children: Your sins are forgiven in Jesus’ name. You veterans were in on the ground floor, and know the One who started all this; you newcomers have won a big victory over the Evil One.
13-14 And a second reminder, dear children: You know the Father from personal experience. You veterans know the One who started it all; and you newcomers—such vitality and strength! God’s word is so steady in you. Your fellowship with God enables you to gain a victory over the Evil One.

15-17 Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

                                                                              — The Message –

I have been persevering and remaining strong to pound away at the weeks of student-teaching. Now, I can finally say that I only have one more week! I’m excited to be done and am looking forward to applying for jobs. We have been doing a little better financially this month than the past couple of months; partly due to my part-time tutoring job, for which I am grateful.

I got this sharp pain in my side today that put me in a chair! But, I feel better now. I just want to eat a snack before going to the Service Team Christmas Party tonight.

I’m having a great birthday today! I got some text messages from Leah and Jim-James, an email from National University, birthday cards and gifts, phone calls and more. My mommy called me this morning to sing happy birthday to me on the phone before I went to student-teach. I have decided to take the rest of the day off now and not go to guitar class tonight. I need a break and this is a good day to do it. Part of me feels guilty for not going to class, but I need to treat myself every once in a while. Besides, I go to guitar class as a personal leisure activity I like to do. I always thought thirty-something was old, especially when I use to see that tv show that was named just that when I was younger. But I don’t feel any different now that I’m thirty-one years old.

Curtis told me last night not to make any plans for tonight because he is taking me out to dinner. He knows how much I love to go out to eat. I want to go to the Cheesecake Factory to get some Strawberry Cheesecake.

I’m so excited that I only have to do 3 more weeks of student-teaching internship at Moreno Valley H.S. They had a Thanksgiving Feast in class on Friday. I wish I had some more of that food right now. Even more exciting, is that my 31st birthday is coming this Tuesday on November 18! Today really feels like Fall with listening to the calm wind blowing through my window. I like the Fall time and how it makes me feel all cozy inside. My mom doesn’t like the Fall because it reminds her of the loss of her parents. I also took the movies back to the library and got some more. I drove there this time, instead of riding my bike, because Curtis was doing homework and I didn’t feel like riding a bike by myself.